Fishing Trip
by honu59
Summary: When tragedy strikes Five-O and takes one of their own, Danny finds himself struggling to come to terms with the loss, focusing instead on watching over his grieving boss and friend. A fishing trip finally allows the detective a day of solitude to mourn, where no one would hear him weep but the sea itself.


_**A.N. **__– Hawaii Five-O belongs to CBS. No copyright infringement is intended. _

_Thanks to "Tanith2011" for beta reading this. _

**Fishing Trip**

_In Loving Memory of a Fisherman_

It had been three weeks. Jimmy Rego had been arrested and convicted for murder. The funeral Mass and burial were behind them. Suzie had returned to the mainland. Life was supposed to return to normal.

_But how could it? How could anything ever be normal again?_

Dan Williams needed to get away by himself to think. He had spent the last three weeks keeping a watchful eye on McGarrett, afraid of what the intensity of the man's grief, unrepentant anger and misplaced guilt might do to his boss. Dan had been so focused on Steve that he hadn't worked through his own feelings, his own grieving. Now with a day off, he had the time to start that process.

Chin had loved to fish, so it seemed appropriate for Dan to pack his fishing gear and rent a boat for the day. Now adrift somewhere off shore, his boat bobbed up and down on gentle waves that splashed against its hull. The bright sun glinted off the crystal blue Pacific and warmed Dan's exposed skin. As he cast his line into the sea, he breathed in the salty air, its brisk scent mixed with the faint gasoline odor from the outboard motor. Only the occasional cry of a sea bird interrupted the serenity. The noise and busyness of downtown Honolulu were now far in the distance. Williams couldn't remember the last time he had experienced this much solitude.

_No wonder Chin loved to fish, _Dan mused with a wistful smile. _Raising eight kids, it was probably the only time he could be alone and have time for himself. Fishing provided food for his table and peace for his soul. _Now it was Dan who longed for peace.

Williams was no stranger to death – he'd seen far too much death in his profession as a cop. His thoughts drifted back to Jane Michaels. Her death had torn Dan's heart in two to the extent that for a while, he had not been in control of himself. Chin had stuck close by him then, giving him advice and trying to keep his explosive temper in check. The whole team had ached for the grieving young detective but had felt powerless in their inability to ease his suffering. Now Jane was a bittersweet memory, and Dan had long ago stopped comparing his dates to her.

Chinough Olena was a close friend and a gifted sharp shooter, who had saved Williams' life more than once. Olena had died in front of Dan's eyes in the emergency room after being shot during a routine traffic stop by a kid who was high on heroin. In the raw pain of that loss, Dan had made bad decisions that nearly ended his career. Steve, Chin and Ben had all worked overtime to uncover the truth and clear Williams' name. In the weeks that followed, he had been there for Chinough's widow and children until eventually, Olena's extended family took over and Dan saw less and less of them.

But this…losing Chin…somehow this loss made the world seem radically different, forever changed. Everything looked the same, but nothing felt the same. Maybe it was because the veteran cop was such a fixture in his life. Five-O had long ago become Dan's family and Chin had been an important member of that ohana. Walking past that empty cubicle every morning was just a big fat reminder of the tragedy and the void it had left in its wake. Gone were Chin's jokes and good natured teasing, his wisdom, his experience and keen insight into case work, but most of all, gone was his friendship and it hurt deeply.

Still gripping his fishing rod and watching but not really seeing his line, Dan swallowed hard and let the tears flow freely down his face. After all, who was there to see him cry? He wept bitterly, the sounds of his anguish offered only to the vast Pacific. The profound ache in his heart had almost become a physical pain. _Damn it, Chin, I miss you! _

Dan's outpouring of grief was interrupted by a sudden strong tug at his line, drawing his attention back to the task at hand. _Must be a big one! _he thought as he pulled the rod to test the fish's resistance. The usual instant thrill of having a fish on his line was somewhat subdued by Dan's mood and he mechanically set about the work of reeling in his catch. He began with a steady winding motion, but the large fish fought him every inch of the way. After a while, Dan's muscles began to tire and he considered giving up and just cutting the line. But as he was about to reach for his knife, a familiar voice sounded in his head:

"_Easy, Danny, just take your time. Don't fight it. Let it come to you."_

The voice was so real that Dan half expected to turn around to see Chin Ho Kelly sitting in the stern of the small boat, relaxed and smiling up at him. He wiped the sweat off his face and shook his curly head to clear his mind. _Too much sun, _he thought. But there lingered a strange sensation that he wasn't alone. He decided to heed the voice and try again to land the fish. And it didn't make sense to hurry; he had the whole day.

Dan started slowly reeling in the catch. When the fish resisted, he eased up and released a small portion of line. This process was repeated several times. He wasn't sure if he was making any progress or not; it was very slow going. But after a while it seemed like the splashing fish had definitely moved closer to the boat. A few more minutes of give and take brought his quarry along the side of the boat. Dan grabbed the gaff, hooked the large fish and hauled it aboard. After a brief slippery battle, the thirty-five pound mahi-mahi was secured in Williams' large ice chest. Breathing hard, the weary detective took a seat on the bench, opened a bottle of juice and had a long drink. Dan sat there for a long time, deep in thought, contemplating life and death, love and relationships. When he finally noticed that the sun had dipped low in the sky, he started the engine and headed for the marina.

By the time Williams had turned in the rented boat and gathered his gear and cooler, the sky was almost dark. He was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Though he had finally been able to weep, the gaping hole in his life where Chin Ho Kelly used to be was still there, and he knew that it would be a long time before the shock and hurt dissipated to a manageable level. As Dan walked the length of the pier under the rising moon, Chin's voice and soothing words returned to him, again in an eerily realistic way:

"_Easy, Danny, just take your time. Don't fight it. I'm okay and you'll be fine, too."_

Dan's senses suddenly sharpened, and he thought that he smelled the familiar scent of smoke carried on the trade winds…smoke from pipe tobacco. Once again he had the strange feeling that he wasn't alone. He felt the hair on his arms rise and tingle. Then, when he had almost reached the end of the pier, he passed an old dock worker who was leaning against a post smoking a pipe. Dan nodded politely at the man as he walked by. Then he felt a slight smile tug at his face as a new warmth started to fill some of the emptiness in his soul.

**Pau**


End file.
